Friday, April 22, 2016

Jokes told during biopsy

Sometimes I like to think I am pretty funny, especially in a room full of doctors, nurses, and ultrasound technicians.  And yes, there might be a theme here... turns out the sexual humor I've inherited from my mom really likes to come out when I'm nervous.

1. Is that like a condom for the ultrasound machine?
2. Wait, so you're in me right now and I can't feel you?  ...That's not something your boyfriend ever wants to hear (said while looking at the image of my tumor on the ultrasound machine with a needle entering it)
3. When asked for my name and from which breast they took the biopsy I answered, "the right."  Doctors like that one, but for only so long.

I watched as the doctor implanted a marker in my tumor.  It was like nothing I've ever seen.  It reminded me of those informational videos they show you in grade school/high school where the sperm fertilizes the egg - the thing shot right into the tumor.    Perhaps my tumor and the marker are in cahoots and are making a super cute baby in my boob as I type this!  As long as it is not another tumor, I guess I'm okay with it.  Not only did the marker impregnate my tumor, but the doctors' reaction to the final landing of the marker resembled that of NASA employees watching a shuttle land.  "Nice shot!"  Who knew it was so exciting!?

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