The thing with having cancer is - it takes over your life. Whether you like it or not, it's not something you can control. Phone calls, emails, appointments, they leave little room for anything else. Even more so, it keeps you on your toes. Years ago there was no such thing as caller ID. When the phone rang there was a brief moment of utter excitement of not knowing who was on the other line. That's essentially
what it is like for me now, minus the excitement. The entire UofM health system uses one outgoing number forcing me to brace myself every time I see the number 232-0000 on my phone. Some days I have been so lucky as to receive upwards of 5 separate calls from this number! (Please keep your jealous tendencies to yourself, unfortunately
we can't all be so lucky ;)
Every day I play a new round of Cancer Roulette - what will the portal tell me today? Who is on the other line today? I just looked up "Russian Roulette" and it says, "an activity that is potentially very dangerous." Yup, that sounds about right! The emotions that come with each portal check or phone call can indeed be very dangerous to one's mental health! Will it be my test results that will change my life forever? Will a dream be shattered? Will it be a social worker (it appears I'm collecting them)? Or a nurse? Or my surgeon
? Or a bill? Or an appointment reminder? There is virtually no way to possibly prepare myself for each round of Cancer Roulette. Luckily the calls have temporarily
subsided, but not yet completely stopped. Radiation is only starting, so I imagine I'll continue dealing with things for a while yet...
My Cancer Bag - Complete with my own personal health organizer from the American Cancer Society! The bag is rapidly becoming part of my daily workout regiment, it constitutes as my weight lifting each day!
Envelopes inside of envelopes. The excitement never ends!
No comments:
Post a Comment